Mitt Ryan Picks Paul Romney for VP; and a Political Bromance Blossoms
In one of the most romantic scenes since Gosling kissed McAdams in the rain, former governor Mitt Romney of Massachusetts offered Congressman Paul Ryan of Wisconsin his hand in political matrimony. Not...
View ArticleRomney’s Tax Records Show He’s Working for President Obama
WASHINTON D.C.- The Romeny campaign had contested showing Mitt’s 2011 returns for so long, and once released, every one understood why. Mitt Romney had been on the Obama campaign’s payroll for quite...
View ArticleMitt Romney Can’t Possibly Be That Dumb! – Reaction From England
As the election campaign gathers pace, and the Republican Party appear to be exposing their inherent incompetency, a British correspondent expressed utter disbelief that any candidate for the...
View ArticleBiden Wins Debate With Tale of High School Football Game
DANVILLE, KENTUCKY- The Vice Presidential debate was a dramatic stage set for two men who would be a heart beat away from the highest office. It culminated in a speech by Vice President Biden, about a...
View ArticleRomney and Obama Both Concede
GlossyNews.com – GlossyNews has learned that the presidential candidates of the two major parties have both decided to concede the election. Partly for reasons unknown, but mostly to spare the American...
View ArticleRomney Denies He’s a Crybaby
Defeated Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney denies he is a crybaby. “Yes, I lost the election,” said Romney. “But there are reasons why I lost, many of them relating to the gifts Obama gave...
View ArticleObama Resigns… Almost
In a surprise announcement, Barack Obama has decided to step down. Foregoing the balance of his second term, the President will pass on the executive reins of government to his vice president, Joe...
View ArticleVideo Game Review: Presidential Drone Hit List
Summary Presidential Drone Hit List makes you work to find the people you’re supposed to kill, but the job of doing so is relatively easy and without risk. RIGHT: Presidential Drone Hit List (CLICK TO...
View ArticleForgetful Bush ‘Still Occasionally Turning Up to White House Unannounced’
WASHINGTON D.C. – Sources in Washington D.C. have confirmed that former U.S. President George W. Bush is still forgetfully turning up to the White House unnanounced. He was seen this morning idly...
View ArticleObama to cut education funding in “polarizing” move
In a highly polarizing move, President Obama announced he is using his executive powers to cut federal education funding by 50% in order to install polarized windows in the White House. When reached...
View ArticleA Low Point for President Jesus
WASHINGTON – It has been a tough couple of months for President Jesus in the wake of the problem-plagued launch of the government’s HumanKindness.gov website and continuing criticism of his efforts to...
View ArticlePresident Obama Promotes Healthcare.gov with Jackass-Style Stunt Reel
WASHINGTON, D.C.—“I’m Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States of America, and this is Jackass.” So begins the president’s latest viral video—a 22-minute series of dangerous and immature...
View ArticlePresident Obama Orchestrates Worst Trade in History of Trades
Washington, D.C. – Most people consider the Boston Red Sox trade of future baseball god Babe Ruth for a cash loan to finance the No, No, Nanette musical to be the worst trade of all time. But No, No,...
View ArticleYes I Can! President Obama Decides to Become Kindergarten Chanter
When President Obama’s presidency finishes, he won’t be out of a job. Well, he might be out of a job before his Presidency finishes, if the Republicans succeed in impeaching him. Still, the President...
View ArticlePresident Replaces Hand Shake w/ Fist Bump
Washington D.C.-When President Barack Obama meets with leaders of foreign nations, he will now use a fist bump as a greeting, that according to a White House Press Release. Reporters asked the...
View ArticleBREAKING NEWS: Woman Claims Trump Didn’t Grope Her
A woman from Broken Springs, Michigan has come forward to insist that Donald Trump has not groped her, despite many opportunities to do so. Allison McGregor, a 47-year-old housekeeper who used to work...
View ArticleThe Saturday Night Live Crew Have Pulled Off the Greatest Skit Of All Time
SNL has just topped anything they have ever done. They have pulled off the greatest live action skits in the history of comedy. They got the whole country to believe that Donald Trump was actually our...
View Article10 Reasons Trump is the Greatest President Ever: You Heard it Here First!
#1 Spicy Takes! Hilarious press conferences are the Spicer of life! (Or at least they used to be). LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!...
View ArticleA Star is Fallen? FBI Investigate Robert De Niro for Donald Trump Death Threats
Renowned actor Robert De Niro is known not only for his role in the Godfather movies, but also his vociferous criticism of Donald Trump. However, things seem to have taken a sour turn, as the FBI...
View ArticleCNN Replaces Serious Commentary on Trump’s Presidency, with Constant Laughter
Dateline: ATLANTA—CNN has dramatically altered its strategy in covering the Donald Trump White House, having first milked Mr. Trump’s scandals for ratings in the 2016 campaign and then attempted to...
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